Listen to “A Girl”

dammit
she’s a girl
just a girl
not a pill to make my problems go away
not a destiny to make my credits roll
a girl
with her own issues and desires and dreams
more apart from me
than i’d admit to myself
she’s not what i look for her to be
because i’m looking for fiction
and she’s just a girl

is it fair to her if i’m just killing time until you’re mine?
is it fair to her if i’m just holding on until you’re gone?
but i won’t break her just to fix myself
what if she is the one?

i know you’re not, but you could be

listen to mp3

come on down to automotive world
got a gorilla on the ceiling and a workin’ tilt-a-whirl
bring the kids and have some lunch
we got free hot dogs and free punch

don’t worry about your credit becuase our boss has gone insane
slashing all the prices moving stock out of the rain
let us put you into the one that suits you best
we know all of the secrets you keep close to the vest

like we know you drive a hummer ’cause you want a bigger dick
we know you drive a porsche because you like being a prick
maybe you drive a chevy cause that’s all you can afford
maybe daddy’s buying and you’re looking for two doors

you may drive a beetle with dash flowers on display
we’ll tell you that’s hip and not extremely gay
don’t think of it as just rubber and steel
we’re selling hopes and dreams on magic wheels

at automotive word the sale ends soon
there’s no money down, but the payments balloon
we’ll keep you unhappy just being alive
and we’ll tell you it matters what you drive

think of us as a family
with some paperwork and a monthly fee
you’ll drive off the lot in a brand new car
that tells everyone who you are

at automotive word the sale ends soon
there’s no money down, but the payments balloon
we’ll keep you unhappy just being alive
and we’ll tell you it matters what you drive

she likes some parts of me but she wants to play the field
how long will she look until she finds me waiting here?
maybe never. what if she is fooled by something else?
she runs to me for help but feels up and disappears

God are you chasing me the way i chase the girl?
thinking of me and wishing i would realize
everything i’m looking for, you’re so eager to give
i love her. i love her, but she must decide…

is this some weak reflection of how God feels?
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms…

i can’t be smart and i can’t be smooth
i can’t see me from your point of view
i’m only me and i’m afraid
i’m not the man God meant when He made

all this skin and sadness and a heart i just can’t find
i lost it to a girl i can’t get off my mind

He says He loves me, i don’t know why
He says it doesn’t matter how hard i try
i’m only me, i’ll never be more
He says just to drop His name at the door

so she may not love me
but i think i’ll be ok
i’m gonna let her go
till she’s the one that got away

your voice sways the curtains
soft as a breeze
so long since i’ve felt this
i miss you

poetry fails
words grind against
feelings i hide
i love you
and i don’t care
as long as you
as long as you
don’t leave.

if You gave me a voice
that all the world could hear
what would i choose to whisper in their ears?

would i talk about You?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

i’m so ashamed

and if they sentenced You to die
i would not stand by Your side
if they asked me if i know You
i’d deny

would that be a lie?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

intimacy the magic and the fury
of being for you what you are for me
i want to discover, till i can’t remember…
what it was like to have to wonder

your skin, fragile under sunlight
my lips against the sensative spots
the heat of closeness, we stare…
i trace lines through your hair

hands against you
words wait by the bed
what we’re making
can’t be said

shadows squeezed out by our light
making eternal this trembling night
and i close my eyes to hear you try
to feel the full effect of a heavy sigh

and then you laugh
and there we lie
and i never say
goodbye

listen to mp3
i think of everything i’ve said to you
all the promises i swore i’d make true
i can’t put up much of a fight
if i can’t make it through one lonely night

i never used to doubt how much you care
so why do i wonder if you play fair?
it’s hard for hope to go on
without you here to prove me wrong

if i love you
it’s because i choose to
if i love you
it’s because i choose to

you can’t make me see
everything you do for me
so if i love you
i choose to

i can’t find a star up in the sky
everything’s black and i don’t know why
it all looks different in the day
but tonight this fear won’t go away

if you here to hold my hand
maybe then i’d understand
if your words echo’d in my ears
if you suddenly appeared

so you’re off to pennsylvania
where the horse and buggies roll
you’re off to chase a rainbow
i hope you find a pot of gold
in pennsylvania…

don’t take no shit from anybody
you know what you can do
been there for everybody
now do what’s best for you
in pennsylvania

but before you go
there’s something you should know
you’re never alone, never alone
and always call Texas home

come back from pennsylvania
you’re always welcome here
when the winter snow is heavy
and all the fun has disappeared
from pennsylvania

maybe i’m just jealous
i’ll chase my dream someday
i hope you find your happiness
if you decide to stay
in pennsylvania