she likes some parts of me but she wants to play the field
how long will she look until she finds me waiting here?
maybe never. what if she is fooled by something else?
she runs to me for help but feels up and disappears

God are you chasing me the way i chase the girl?
thinking of me and wishing i would realize
everything i’m looking for, you’re so eager to give
i love her. i love her, but she must decide…

is this some weak reflection of how God feels?
longing for a love that doesn’t leap into my arms…

if You gave me a voice
that all the world could hear
what would i choose to whisper in their ears?

would i talk about You?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

i’m so ashamed

and if they sentenced You to die
i would not stand by Your side
if they asked me if i know You
i’d deny

would that be a lie?

i can’t even say
i can’t even say
i’d speak Your name

listen to mp3
i think of everything i’ve said to you
all the promises i swore i’d make true
i can’t put up much of a fight
if i can’t make it through one lonely night

i never used to doubt how much you care
so why do i wonder if you play fair?
it’s hard for hope to go on
without you here to prove me wrong

if i love you
it’s because i choose to
if i love you
it’s because i choose to

you can’t make me see
everything you do for me
so if i love you
i choose to

i can’t find a star up in the sky
everything’s black and i don’t know why
it all looks different in the day
but tonight this fear won’t go away

if you here to hold my hand
maybe then i’d understand
if your words echo’d in my ears
if you suddenly appeared

Jesus, a name a rarely use
this is that cliche beg for Your hand
i read Your touch brings healing
i don’t really understand

if Your hands, then part of the body
aren’t we all your flesh and bone?
send someone to hold me
i cannot mend if alone

my days hold no assurance
my heart no hope to burn
like fuel to reach my goal
Jesus, i don’t know where to turn

in faith that is not free of doubt
i ask for Your peace, for a friend
i’ll wait here trapped by fear
for the rescue You will send

sure you can show yourself in this place
in order i’d have to fall dead on my face
you can be the king, make me behave
with one word you can make me your slave

but are you lonely
without me?

sure i can scream at empty blue skies
beg for a sign with tears in my eyes
like a child not getting his way
i can try to hurt you with the words i say

i can laugh at what i’ve done
wasted all night waiting for the sun
but could i learn to live with the feeling
like i’m broken with no hope of healing

i’m out for proof that you still care
i’d settle for knowing that you’re there
i wish you’d send a sign
i don’t want to doubt you

so i guess my faith is so weak
i must beg you to speak
all you offer me are words
i’ve never really heard you

if you’re everything they say you are
you know the secrets of my heart
the things i mean but cannot say
thank God you never run away

am i too smart to believe
you’re a possibility?
are my eyes so blind to see
what you’ve done for me?

if you made me i’d obey
i would be a fearful slave
but i’d never choose to
love you

i don’t think i can hear you
i don’t know to fear you
i don’t think i can hear you

i don’t know how to love you, Jesus
i don’t know how to love myself
love is just a word to me, Jesus
a secret no one ever tells

can you calm these storms?
cause i’m so scared, i’m so scared
when you do calm these storms
i’ll know you’re there
i’ll know you’re there

but is that all i want from you?
just stone hard concrete proof?
can i choose you?
can i choose you?

can i say you tell the truth
without the proof?

can you calm these storms?
either way, i choose you

what if everyone automatically knew
and didn’t have to make excuses for You?
is it a sin to seek audible songs?
come in a cloud and tell me i’m wrong

sometimes it gets so hard
to remember
i love you

i collect the answers to pick and choose
what truth is out there that i can’t abuse
stands on its own even misunderstood
would i even admit it if i could

no, i would make it a choice of desires
share in your sorrows or stay warm by the fire
i chase a world that can’t offer me more
than what you give, what i ignore

i’d give you the best of me
if i wasn’t so afraid of what you’d do
i say you know what’s best for me
but i act like that’s true

in dark rooms i wrestle with you
you unleash your obvious truth
deep down i know the answer too
all i’m asking for is proof

i think of your reasons for loving me
clashing with your invisibility
but they’re one and the same
you bear the blame
it is my choice to see

like an animal who’s spent his life
safe in captivity
sometimes i wish that you had
never set me free

the world is meaner than i can stand
you say you have a place
i wish you’d lead me by the hand
but you want to be chased

am i led into the desert
or do i go there on my own?

do i have to swing so hard
to get water from a stone

i can’t see a burning bush
i can’t see your signs
i wish you’d come and tell me
something that i can’t deny

say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
say you love me
tell me i’m beautiful
tell me i’m worth it.

i would sit right by the fire
they’d ask me and i would deny

and i’d stand back in the corner
till i put a finger in your side