Listen to “A Girl”

dammit
she’s a girl
just a girl
not a pill to make my problems go away
not a destiny to make my credits roll
a girl
with her own issues and desires and dreams
more apart from me
than i’d admit to myself
she’s not what i look for her to be
because i’m looking for fiction
and she’s just a girl

i can’t be smart and i can’t be smooth
i can’t see me from your point of view
i’m only me and i’m afraid
i’m not the man God meant when He made

all this skin and sadness and a heart i just can’t find
i lost it to a girl i can’t get off my mind

He says He loves me, i don’t know why
He says it doesn’t matter how hard i try
i’m only me, i’ll never be more
He says just to drop His name at the door

so she may not love me
but i think i’ll be ok
i’m gonna let her go
till she’s the one that got away

listen to mp3

i could tell you that i’ve never desired you
but then i couldn’t say i’ve never lied to you
i do not dream that we’ll end up together
i just don’t like the sound of never

i’m happy for you believe me that’s true
i smiled when i first heard
it’s hard to explain the way i feel
but i know how i should act

like it’s the best thing
the best thing
i should say it’s the best thing
that has ever happened…
to you.

i’m not angry, i’m not depressed
i just see you in your white dress
and something, somewhere misses you
the one i got too close to

i’m jealous of love in any form
i don’t want you, but what you have
of course you tell me “someday”
and of course i don’t believe you

who is to blame when things don’t stay the same?
people move on, they get cold
i can’t forget smiling faces
joy once was so bold

i’m praying i’ll forget the way
it seemed so right just yesterday
i had something, but now it’s gone
people move on

i think the one who loved me
no, i guess she never did
she was not shy in saying it though
i still bleed wounds from cupid

i think of the reasons i wanted her
i wonder why she was my wish
when all the world is leaving
she is the only thing that i miss

i’ve got a deal made with a brick wall
i won’t try to climb it and it won’t let me fall
it’s a sad life lived in yesterdays
and i’m too stupid to walk away

but if i treat you like you treat me
you’d surely leave me lonely
you say i’ve changed
’cause i don’t follow you everwhere
you think it’s strange
all of a sudden i don’t care

but i’m just playin’ fair

see i’ve done the stupid dances
just to keep you out on the floor
and i have the been the man
i don’t want to be anymore
if i did not chase you down
you would not wait around

she finally found a reason to dig out her magazines
every scrap that she has saved since she turned 14
now the last 10 years are narrowed to 10 days
to put a check by the only plan she’s made

all her friends are coming so i guess i won’t be there
i still think i love her; not enough to show i care
i won’t see the dress or have to shake his hand
i won’t kiss her cheek, leave her lips for another man

she’ll end up unhappy
in some run down trailer park
and i will be the memory
she clings to in the dark

the articles she’s read tell her how to love
he says he’ll stay even when push comes to shove
if he lays a hand on her i hope she runs away
my door is always open – if she wanted she could stay

but for now she’s gonna
find a borrowed blue
and tell herself her dreams are coming true

i’m noah
except it never did rain
i wasted my time on the ark
locked inside it everyday
i only hope when the sky goes dark
friends say i’m not helping anything
by refrusing to move on
but i lose more than a girl
if i admit that i was wrong

and hope does not get weaker when it should
and love is never fair
all the time i spent building this
disappears into dry air

could i find a reason to hate her?
blame for a broken heart
no, she never did anything to me
and i think that’s the worst part

you never were the one she wanted
you tried to be someone she’d need
you wrote the perfect letters
you realize now she’ll never read

what will you write about now?
there’s nothing left for you
hope is nowhere to be found
all the movies said
won’t come true.

i wanted to be like him
no i just wished that he was me
i asked you for forever
i’ll settle for a history

you said if i really loved you
i’d let you go be happy

so you’ll walk slowly down the aisle
clutching a bright blue bouquet
and you won’t even notice me gone
the man giving you away

i heard you’re getting married
you don’t want me to know
i heard you’re getting married
you don’t want me to go

’cause you think that i still love you
so afraid of what i’ll say
yeah you know that i still love you
so it’s best i stay away

but i won’t make this long
i’ll just say i was wrong
when i said we were meant to be

i’m sorry.